| Watch Out, Honey!
By Rose Titus
The night wasn’t over yet and Derek was disappointed because he had already been forcibly kicked
out of two drinking establishments and the town was so small, it only had two drinking establishments –
meaning, of course, that he had been kicked out of the only two places in town. He had never been kicked
out of either place before; he had only been spoken to. “Leave the serving girls alone,” he was told. “Let
the girls do their work,” the barkeepers said. “If you can’t keep your hands off, then get the hell out of
here!” He just couldn’t figure it out. Wasn’t that what the girls were there for? Derek just could never
understand it. He was a paying customer, after all. Of course a man who was paying good money had a
He was especially furious tonight because one of the girls slapped his face, and the manager refused
to fire her. They tossed him out instead. What the hell? Is that any way to treat a repeat customer?
He continued to shuffle down the dark street, annoyed and feeling sorry for himself. But he was still sure
he could score himself some action tonight.
Then he saw her. Hello, what’s this?
He saw the raven-haired beauty in the long white dress across the dark street, lingering there all alone,
and suddenly he forgot all his upset over being removed from both establishments.
She ignored him. He didn’t like that. Derek was sick of being ignored by women, even more than he
was sick of being removed from the pubs. He figured the girl across the street just didn’t realize that she
really wanted to be with him. Women were like that, he realized – they just didn’t know their own minds!
They didn’t know what they really needed – and what they really needed was a cool guy like him!
“I said,” he spoke louder this time, “I said, hey honey!”
She continued to ignore him. And he really didn’t like that.
Now he had to do something. His mind began to work. He needed to scare her a little, and only just a
little, because he knew women got scared so easily! There were rumors of vampires stalking the town at
night. He would just have to remind her and she would become so terrified that she would fall right into his
arms! “I mean, hey pretty little baby, you better watch out honey!”
She acted like she didn’t hear him at all.
What? Was the little bitch deaf?
He needed to either yell or get up close to get her to pay attention. Yelling would probably bring the
police, and he had already had enough trouble with the local police… something about a girl being “too
young,” or something stupid like that. Who cared if she was young? He wondered. She said she was
fourteen, wasn’t that old enough…? Oh well, he sighed. He was sure the incident was long forgotten and
that the girl’s parents wouldn’t remember him. He hoped.
He continued on with his attempts to get attention to himself…
“Hey honey, watch out!” he barked when he finally got across the street.
She turned and eyed him suspiciously, “Excuse me? Watch out? For what?”
He leaned over her, a bit too closely, and smirked, “Baby doll! Don’t you know? There are vampires
lurking around this town at night! A pretty little baby doll like you is just hanging out like a piece of
gorgeous meat for one of them terrible predators!”
“What?” She stared back at him coldly. Under the dim street light, he could see her eyes roll in
“Yeah, cutie! You just absolutely have no right to be out here on a dark night looking that gorgeous with
them crawling about. One of them will come out of a dark alley at yah! You better come with me! I’ll
protect you, honey!”
“Come with you?” she answered back with disbelief, “With you?”
“Yeah,” he insisted, “You better come with me!” Stupid girl, he thought. She acts like she doesn’t even
know what I’m talking about. “I said, you better come with me, or else!”
“Or else what?”
He glared at her, trying to appear menacing, “Watch out, honey! Without me to look out for you, they’ll
come after yah!”
“Seriously?” she appeared skeptical.
“Seriously, little baby doll! That’s why you need me! You need me to protect you. I’ll follow you home,
little honey! Or maybe you’re coming to my place. But you’re coming with me!”
She looked at him strangely, and sighed. Then she said, “Well, you insist. You know, maybe you’re
right. Maybe you are what I need right now.” And she moved so swiftly it was like a blur in the darkness. It
all happened so suddenly, he didn’t have time to scream as he fell to the pavement and she bit deep into
|About Rose Titus
Rose Titus works two jobs to support her writing habit. She exists somewhere in cold, dreary
New England, with two manipulative cats and a very out of date Macintosh with which she
creates horror and fantasy fiction. She also has a restored classic car to ride around while in
search of adventure.
For travel she has stayed for the night in an allegedly haunted castle, has taken a boat ride on
Loch Ness, and has visited the fabled Bermuda Triangle without getting lost.
Her work has previously appeared in Lost Worlds, Lynx Eye, Bog Gob, Mausoleum, Midnight
Times, Blood Moon Rising Magazine, The Bugle, Weird Terrain, Descend, Wicked Wheels, The
Dead River Review, and other literary magazines. Her novella Night Home has been published
with Bathory Gate Press and is available with Amazon, Barnes and Noble .com and
When she’s not writing or working or messing around with her old Buick, she waits by her
mailbox for the next issue of Fortean Times to arrive.
|To read other short stories,
click one of the titles below.